Let's be clear: I have nothing against Selena Gomez. She seems perfectly pleasant. And Lord knows, the girl can wear a frock on the red carpet. But haute cuisine? Honey, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
This HBO Max series, now in its fourth season, is the epitome of pandemic-era television. You know the drill: celebrity, confined to their palatial estate, attempts to cook. Hilarity, supposedly, ensues. We've seen this song and dance before, haven't we?
The premise of "Selena + Chef" is simple enough. Each episode, a renowned chef appears virtually to guide Selena through a recipe. The results? Well, let's just say they're more "home ec class" than "Michelin star." There's a certain charm, I suppose, in watching someone so clearly out of their element fumble through a hollandaise. But charm only gets you so far.
The show tries, bless its heart, to inject some culinary cred. The rotating cast of chefs is undeniably impressive. We're talking James Beard Award winners, Michelin-starred darlings, the whole nine yards. But even these culinary titans can't quite elevate the proceedings beyond the realm of glorified amateur hour.
I recall a particularly cringeworthy episode involving lobster ravioli. Now, I've wrestled with my fair share of pasta dough in my time. It's a temperamental beast, requiring a delicate touch and a healthy dose of patience. Selena, armed with a rolling pin and a look of sheer panic, attacked the dough with the ferocity of a woman possessed. The resulting ravioli? Let's just say they bore a closer resemblance to misshapen dumplings than anything you'd find on a fine-dining menu.
And then there's the matter of Selena's kitchen. It's a vision of pristine white, all gleaming marble and state-of-the-art appliances. A kitchen seemingly designed more for Instagrammable moments than actual cooking. It's the kind of kitchen that makes you wonder if anyone actually uses the oven, or if it's just for show. The disconnect between the aspirational setting and the reality of the cooking is, to put it mildly, jarring.
Look, I understand the appeal of this kind of programming. We're all starved for normalcy, for a glimpse into the lives of others. And there's something undeniably comforting about watching someone else burn dinner for a change. But "Selena + Chef" feels like a missed opportunity.
Instead of leaning into the chaos, the show could have embraced a more educational approach. Imagine if, instead of simply following recipes, Selena had delved deeper into the world of food. What if she'd explored the cultural significance of dishes, or the science behind cooking techniques? Now that would be a show worth watching.
But perhaps I'm asking too much. "Selena + Chef" is, at its core, a harmless distraction. It's the televisual equivalent of comfort food: familiar, predictable, and ultimately forgettable. And in these uncertain times, maybe that's enough. But don't try to tell me it's haute cuisine. Because, darling, it simply isn't.
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